I have never felt so tired for so long in my entire life

So.  I have something to say.  My child really stinks at sleeping during the day.  In fact, he’s horrible at it.  His nighttime sleep is fine, great even, but naps are another story.  Naps are going to kill me.  Because it’s not like he’s a weirdo who’s content without a nap….oh no, he needs one, he just won’t take one.  Here’s a rundown of a normal day:

We wake up.  We hang out.  Liam starts to look tired, yawning and such.  I put him in his crib and wrap him up, give him a blanket.  He begins shrieking before I leave the room.  He continues shrieking for 35 minutes, until I give up and go get him.  He has crazy dark circles under his eyes at this point, and continues shrieking.  I carry him up and down the hallway, I try to figure out how to calm him.  He stays awake and stays mad.  I pray up and down the hallway.  He stays awake, but God gives me the grace to keep walking up and down the hallway.

Sometimes he falls asleep.  Sometimes he doesn’t.  Sometimes we have to get a whole new feeding in before sleeping happens.  He has also developed a radar, so that when I put him down, he wakes up instantly and shrieks…and we start the whole process over.  And I’m exhausted.  I think I need Liam to take a nap as much as he needs the nap.

Sweet Summertime

*******Sorry about the formatting....I promise I put spaces between the paragraphs....but they won't appear right now************
These past few days have been sort of boring. I've spent a lot of my time here (yes, that is the living room floor):

Working on this:

But seriously...how cute is that binder? Did your English teacher's lesson plans come in a sweet green binder? I have a whopping six days fully planned (we start school on a Friday) and the next nine almost fully planned. Clearly, this is going to be my first year teaching. Real teachers probably haven't started looking at stuff yet--they are still recovering from last year!

Anyway, in an effort to keep things a little interesting around here, I think I'd share some of my favorite recipes for summer cooking. First, I have to say that the word cooking is used lightly here. I prefer not to turn the oven on when it's hot outside. I had it on for something a few weeks ago, and it raised the temperature of the whole house by two degrees. Or at least that's what the thermostat said. I would be perfectly content eating frosting from the jar and some fruit or salad all summer long. That other person that lives here tends to disagree. So we compromise.

Our meal plan for the week looks something like this:

Sunday: Grilled chicken (marinaded in a Lawry's 30 min. marinade or Italian salad dressing)

Vegetable of some sort (Broccoli or green beans)

Monday: Fish (Grilled in foil, with lemon, salt, pepper)

Instant brown rice

Tuesday:Pork chops with pizzaiola sauce (grilled pork chops, sauce is onion and garlic sauteed in olive oil, a pinch of red pepper flakes, can of diced tomatoes added and cooked together)

Wednesday: Something easy....last night it was a frittata with turkey bacon, green onion, and eggs

Thursday: Chicken stir fry--chicken cooked in Italian salad dressing, tossed with frozen stir fry vegetables and soy sauce, on top of brown rice

Friday: Hamburgers made with Williams-Sonoma hamburger seasoning on the grill, some sort of grilled vegetable (I like zucchini the best)

Saturday: Whatever I can throw together with what's left in the kitchen

Did I mention that Andy does the grilling? And that I hate cleaning up the kitchen? On nights when we don't use the grill, sometimes we use the crockpot too. Anything to avoid heating up the kitchen.

And any night of the week, we like to end with an iced vanilla coffee.

I usually just use leftover cold coffee from the morning...or if there's none, I just make a new pot and cool it. Then I pour the coffee into a glass with ice cubes. I fill the glass about halfway with coffee. Then I pour a few glugs of vanilla syrup in. I have been using this:

Which I picked up at World Market the last time I was at my parents house. But it's almost gone and I don't really like the brands they sell in town....so I'm going to make my own based on a recipe I found the other day (make a simple syrup: boil one cup water, one cup sugar, add 2 t. vanilla extract). Then I fill the cup the rest of the way up with milk, stir and enjoy.

Oh my dear hair

This weekend has been a thrilling one. For sure. From teaching the world's worst Sunday school class today.....I had three students who sat and stared at me. One fell asleep. The other three just didn't talk....good times in the jr. high...some weeks are better than others--to the children's pastor jokingly threatening me if I come down with Andy's illness (it's VBS week...and we're in charge of 4-5 year olds) to burning dinner. That about sums up my day. Just kidding....it really was an all right day. I spent most of it asleep. I feel like my head hasn't been tied on straight here lately. Hence the burning dinner. It's only like the second or third time I've done it since we've been married, and it's always really frustrating. I think it's my pride kicking in. Like I think I'm above burning things. My mom set off the smoke detector at least once a week through most of my childhood, and I guess I just strive to do better (not that my mom was a bad cook...she's not). Here it is:

The bottom was completely black and inedible. But the rest wasn't too bad. Andy said, "Hey I bet if this wasn't--I mean, this is pretty good, I'll bet it would be even better if it wasn't...if it wasn't burned."

Anyway, at least it's not as bad as the time I set a loaf of bread on fire at the Purdue apartment. I put it under the broiler and forgot about it. I also lit a trash can on fire in that apartment. I still have it. And it still bears the marks of being burned. Good times. Really, they were. They provided some serious roommate bonding and laughter.

Other than that, I've been watching the slideshow video that Andy made to be played at our wedding last year. At first, it was purely sentimental. Then, it was about looking at each and every picture and enjoying it. Since then, it's evolved into checking out my hair, and realizing it's always been difficult. I have difficult hair. It's ridiculously thick and really coarse and just generally doesn't do what I want it too. The left half is more difficult than the right--it's even a slightly different texture. Oh...and now I have a bald spot that's growing out from when my hair got sucked up into a vacuum and ripped out...so there's a spot that sticks up a little in the back. My dear husband just told me I'm too dramatic. Whatever..he gave me the bald spot.

This has become like my own little confessional blog post--burning, bald spots, and bad hair. Good times. Anyway....I'm going to post the video--let's end on a happy note. And check out that hair :)

Touring local law enforcement agencies

Today, I had some things I had to take care of downtown. To me, going downtown always seems like such a big deal, but it's really not. I mean, you just have to risk your life going down ridiculously steep and curvy hills, pretend to be a racecar driver, avoid hitting wayward pedestrians, narrowly miss hitting the semi parked in the street, find a parking spot, and make it to your destination in one piece. Nothing much, really.

Honestly, though, I don't love it. Downtown is really even a somewhat tolerable part of town, but I hate driving there. So I usually park somewhere that's about eight to ten blocks from where I'm going, and then just walk. Today I had to go to the library, the police department, and the sheriff's department. Why two law enforcement agencies? Oh you know....the usual....my lawbreaking habits and all. Or maybe I have to have a local criminal history in order to be employed. You can decide.

Anyway....first was the police department. It's seriously back in this shady little alley and if it weren't the police department I would feel so unsafe walking back there. But I like to think that criminals won't attack in front of the police department. As I was walking up there, I was thinking, "I'm so glad I don't have to come back here." So yeah...about an hour after I got home, the bank called to tell me I need to go to the police department to file a report on my stolen money last month. Fabulous. I guess I'll be back tomorrow.

After I hit the police station, I headed down to the sheriff's dept. It's a few blocks on down. And it smells. Like stale sweat and yuck. Seriously, I thought I was going to gag. But I survived. And I don't have to go there tomorrow. At least, I don't think I do.

Food allergy?

I'm not sure, but I think I may have a food allergy. To nitrates/nitrites. Over the past few months, I started to realize I was getting really bad headaches at really weird times. Often it started out with my mouth feeling really salty, and my tongue feeling like it was enormous. Then I started to get a headache that verged on migraine-like proportions. After a few times, I started to keep track of when it happened, and a pattern emerged. It was after eating breakfast sausage, Italian sausage, a large amount of ham, bratwurst, and then today, a hot dog. Today was the worst. I ate at noon and my head is still pounding. I've been flat on the sofa for a few hours asleep.

So, I'm thinking it's time for me to give up the processed meats. Or at least cut them back to the ittiest bitties portions when I do have them.

I did notice, though, that I seem to be okay with turkey sausage/bacon. But I would imagine they are processed similarly, so I don't know what that's all about.

All in all, I'm pretty bummed. I'm rather a fan of my sausages. And so is my husband. Poor guy. The things he's given up to marry me.

Where the heart is

A few weeks ago, when I was waiting to hear if I was even going to get a job interview, Andy and I were talking about our finances. We are very diligent budget keepers, working hard to be debt free (and we are....my student loans were paid off in February, so the only thing we have is our mortgage). In a lot of ways, though, that means that we scrimp and save and look for bargains and don't do a lot of fun things, because the money would be better spent elsewhere or it's just not there. Especially after a few emergencies this past year. Make no mistake about it, we are blessed beyond measure. We are in a really incredible position...

All that said, we were discussing what would happen if I got this new job, and a regular salary. Before we were married, we went through Financial Peace with Dave Ramsey. We were discussing our Baby Steps....and how we had completed the first two (starting an emergency fund and eliminating debt). We are currently on the third step, which is fully funding an emergency fund with 3-6 months of living expenses. From there, you start investing for retirement and then paying off your house faster. All great things.

We were also talking about how much our giving would be increasing, and how exciting that is. We are both gift givers--Andy primarily enjoys providing monetary support, in the form of missionary support and church giving. He loves being able to support ministry. I do too, but I also love to give physical gifts (case in point....I have about 46 different ideas for my sister's birthday gift). So we were both excited about what this new salary would mean in that area.

Then, after all this very adult and very wise conversation, I ended it with this:

"But really, I think I'll go shopping more. And buy some stuff that I want."

And that is why I should do this Bible study this summer.

Live Wire

Today while Andy was home for lunch, we heard a really strange noise. At first, we couldn't figure out what it was, but that smarty husband of mine figured it out pretty quickly. He walked outside onto our dilapidated patio into our dilapidated backyard, took one look into the neighbor's yard and walked right back inside. Here's what happened next:

"Ashley, do not go into the backyard today. Do not step on any part of our yard until I tell you too."

"Andy, what's going on?"

"The power line in the neighbor's yard is down, all of our lines are down and they are touching the metal barn in our yard"

"What does that mean?"

"It means there is a live wire in our backyard and if you touch anything back there you could get electrocuted and die."

And have a happy Thursday to you too.

But seriously, it's okay now. The power company came out and gave us a temporary fix....they can't completely fix it because we have had 7.3 million inches of water in the past two days and the ground has turned into a marsh. We lost power for a few hours, but that was all. It could have been so much worse.

On the bright side, though, I think that gives me more of a case in the battle to get rid of the ugly rusted metal barn. We could have died because of that thing! It's got to go!

Highs and Lows

Last week was an interesting week. I basically spent it going crazy over my interview, so it was nice to have that stress gone for this weekend. I'm just going to split up the highs and lows of the weekend.

Friday lows:
-After my interview, I started to feel really sick. I got a nasty headache and my stomach hurt for awhile, but that went away. I just felt really disgusting.
-My sister had me concerned that she may die at work that night. She kept calling and telling me about terrible storms, evacuating campers, houseboats and campers turning over, all while she sat in the dinky little control station.


Friday Highs:
-My interview. I feel like it went well. I enjoyed talking with them, and I hope they enjoyed talking with me.
-Chinese take-out and a Sonic cherry limeade for dinner. My husband takes such good care of me :)

Saturday lows:
-I baby-sat for some friends of ours for the day. Not for their kids. For two foster kids that were placed in their home on Friday. I actually knew one of the boys, because I had subbed for his class before. There were seven kids in the family that were removed. It was such a difficult day for me emotionally.
-Only four kids showed up for our youth event Saturday night.

Saturday highs:
-I really had a blast baby-sitting. The boys were sweet, it was just a sad situation.
-Our youth event was really a lot of fun. I learned how to throw a football and play cornhole. And it was a lot of fun to spend some time with the young adults that were there. Andy plowed one over while playing football.

Sunday lows:
-I had a fever and a sore throat. Spent most of the day on sofa, asleep.

Sunday highs:
-We had a really great Sunday School class, and a great turnout. It was so much fun this week!
-Sunday's sermon was about marriage, and sort of what marriage should look like and what husbands and wives should be doing....and it was really encouraging. In a lot of ways, Andy and I felt like it was an afffirmation that our marriage was on the right track.

My identity is my own

I think I finally got my whole banking situation figured out today. The money that was taken will be credited back to our account within 10 days and my credit report looks good. I have a new card, and I just need to activate it. Woohoo! I have access to money again! I was down to about 11 dollars in cash and we need groceries. Of course, I could have used Andy's card if we got really desperate. It's just been a really trying time. I've been praying a lot about it, though, because it has really revealed a lot about my heart. The anger and the frustration that I have felt have really shown me how much value I have placed on earthly things, and not on storing up treasures in heaven. It's amazing the things that God uses to teach us lessons and show us the state of our hearts.

We just started a ladies Precept study at our church tonight--and I am so crazy excited. I know that this study will bless all the women involved. So many have never had this experience before, and I am so thrilled for them. It's an immense undertaking...but the rewards are so incredible! It was the largest Bible study class I have seen since we started at the church (there have only been two....and they both had fewer than 10 ladies involved...there were nearly 30 there tonight!)

The earth is the Lord's...

Last night, Andy and I became explorers.

And we discovered a new world. Less than a mile from our home.

Well, not new new. Just new to us.

After dinner and the great ant killing spree of 08 we decided to go for a walk. Only this time, we didn't stick to around the block. We decided to make use of the wide open entrance to a state park that's literally three houses down. So we start out, at first just wondering along the paved roads and being goofy. Then we realize that we are literally a half-mile from the waterfalls that the park is named after.

So we wander down onto one of the trails, for one set of waterfalls (I think there are three) and instantly walk into one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. The falls are over 70 feet high, with huge cliffs and trees all around. It was absolutely stunning. And peaceful. And huge. And majestic. And perfect. And seriously a mile from our house. We could not believe it. We could not believe no one had told us about this! It was so beautiful! We're thinking about going back tonight and checking out one of the other falls. This time I'm not going to wear $3 Old Navy flip-flops. Some of the rock was really slippery and I was definitely not dressed appropriately. And I'm bringing my camera....because we need pictures of this! I have finally discovered something new that I like about Madison (it's been awhile...my last discoveries were a few shops downtown)

To Mom: You have to come and go for a hike. It'll make your science lesson on Clifty Falls so much better. Plus you can show your kids real pictures--"This is Mrs. Keller on the trail" and "This is Mrs. Keller falling down on the trail" and "This is Mrs. Keller punching Mr. Keller for laughing when she fell down" It'll be perfect. Seriously.