Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Our day in moments of grace

I have been in a super contemplative (and admittedly emotional) mood lately, and I wanted to record a few moment from today.  Mostly they were moments when I bowled over with grace.  I have been trying to take a step back and examine lately, instead of allowing myself to flit about and end the day with little recollection and very little grace or kindness.  I have been struggling a lot lately, for a variety of reasons, and have been trying to refocus and see the blessings God has placed in my life.  So here are a few of those moments from today:

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At a little after 7 this morning, I heard the door across the hallway slowly creak open.  It was followed shortly by a tiny giggle and the pitter patter of our sweet boy coming to join his mommy and daddy in bed.  He crawled in on Andy’s side (as usual) and snuggled in tight between us, taking a minute to give each of us a kiss.  He discovered Ollie with his feet, and lifted the blanket to give him a kiss.  He curled up in my arm and we started to watch Mickey Mouse on Netflix on my phone so I could have a few minutes to stretch out and wake up and smell his sweet head.  He put his hands behind his head and crossed his ankles…the exact position his sweet daddy watches tv in.  It was lovely and perfect and the nicest way to start a day.

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We spent most of the day outside, the way summer days are meant to be spent.  Liam spent his time filling cup after cup from his water table, and racing to new parts of the yard to water it.  He is in a helper phase, where he tries to do what he sees adults doing—dishes, laundry, watering, vacuuming.  It’s so sweet.  I love watching him race with his cup and watering can, spilling half his bucket on the way there.  The look of utter joy and pride and satisfaction in his eyes makes my heart feel like it’s going to burst into a million pieces.  There are some moments when his independence makes me utterly crazy, and I need to remember this feeling in that moment. 

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After dinner, the day was winding down. Liam had bathed, and we were in the last little patch of time between bath and bed.  Andy had out his guitar and was singing praise songs, I was singing with him as I put away the toys that got pulled out in the forty minutes we played indoors today.  It wasn’t the sweet magical moment I envisioned when we were dating, or even the one I thought of when people talked about family devotions or singing together.  Because only Andy was still, and focused.  I was moving and cleaning, and Liam was running through the living room shrieking and flying his airplane while my mother-in-law pretended to be an airplane chasing behind him making whooshing noises.  Every time she stopped, he shouted “Eemie, shwooosh” (Eemie is the way he has begun to pronounce Grammy…and I love every bit of it.  It wasn’t what I imagined, but I loved it.  Our wild boy, our imperfect little family, is way better than the serene cookie cutter I imagined.  I’m sure some day we will all be still and sing together, but I bet when it happens, as much as I enjoy it, I’ll be nostalgic for now.

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