Friday, July 22, 2011

A message to Oliver

Dear Ollie,

You are a dog.  You’re supposed to be man’s best friend.  Not man’s jerky* friend who only wants to hang out when nothing better is going on.  I will not be your booty call.  Shape up, or we’re done hanging out and you’re stuck with your dad.  And he doesn’t share his food or snuggle.  So you’d be stuck rough-housing forever, and I’m pretty sure you’ll miss me.



(If you’re my mom or grandma and are concerned that I will talk to Liam like this, I promise to stop when he  can understand and not start again until he’s a high school student and ready to pick up sarcasm from a real master)(*If we’re going to be honest, I didn’t call him a jerk…but what I did call him isn’t very nice)

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