Thursday, February 5, 2009

An Odd Assortment of Words

I was thinking on my drive home tonight about the odd variety of words that I speak in any given day.  I often feel a bit like Jekyll and Hyde....constantly changing from good to nasty.  So I'd like to give a small sampling of my day.

First Period:

"Why aren't you in your seat?  Get to your own seat."

"Dear, are you okay back there?"

"No, I'm afraid I don't know what you should do about the wire on your bra poking you"

"You can try taping it, but I don't think it will help.  Try a tissue."

"It's like that episode of Jon and Kate Plus Eight where Alexis asks if Mickey Mouse is an "Agin Mouse"


Second Period:

"I will email your swim coach this second."

"Ben is a survivor.  We know that.  Destiny's Child was totally singing about him."

"I'm a survivor..I'm not gonna give up"

"I am glad that you all saw the man dancing to "Single Ladies" but we do need to focus our attention back to Deathwatch"

"I don't care that you were kicked out school all last week, you still knew the assignment."

"You will give your speeches tomorrow, or I will write you up for insubordination"


Fourth Period:

"Why aren't you in your seat?  I'm counting you tardy."

"No, you can't go to the restroom."

"You just had your period last week.  And the week before.  Maybe you should see a doctor."

"I told you to stop talking.  If I have to say it again, I'm pulling out the referrals."

"The main character's name is Todd.  We just read the entire book and you don't know his name?"

"If you put that in your mouth again, I will write you up."

After a student tells me she doesn't know anything about the book she's taking an essay test over:

"I'm not surprised.  You'll just have to pay attention next year."


Fifth period:

"Here are the ground rules for today: you talk, I write you up.  You get out of your seat, I write you up.  You so much as consider misbehaving, and I will write you up.  Are we clear?"

"So, what you're telling me is you haven't done anything I've asked you to for the last two weeks."

"Stop touching his pants"

"It's pronounced like ass-o-nance"

"Umm, yes...consonance is related to consonants.  Good call."

"Really, I put that question on your test twice"

"Really, I didn't give that as an answer choice?"

"All right, guys, you know how I tell you to edit your stuff...this is why"

1 comment:

Zach Heridia said...

Wow, you're life is really interesting. Maybe you should write down more of these and create a poem out of them. Or possibly create a book about a teacher and use them as beginnings to the chapters. They pulled me in.

And in case you were wondering why I am so far behind, I was trying to get back to the first post because I missed out on the beginnings of all this and well... most of the 2 years of your life. I quit going back after reading this. It's had be cracking up for about 10 minutes.

It's been a while. Hope you don't have too many days that are this full of funny quotes-- even if they are out of context.