You can’t take that boy anywhere

Andy turned 27 this week.  We’re still waiting for him to act his age.

Oh, I kid.  I love my husband.  And his goofy antics.  Except occasionally.

Like last night.

We went to Columbus for sushi and I asked to stop at Kohls on the way home “in case something caught my eye.”

Because I hate my clothes.  All of them.

So….two shirts, two necklaces, and three Andy shirts later, we were standing in the checkout lane.

Andy really loudly asks in a sort of mocking, joking tone, “Hey, do you need any extenders?”

At that moment, the sales guy picks up and rings up the three BRA EXTENDERS that the woman in front of us was purchasing.

If I could have melted into a puddle and seeped through the cracks.  Seriously.

I look at him, my eyes wide and mouth contorted in that weird wife way that says, “What on earth are you doing right now?!”

Then he asks me what the extenders are.

I turn my whole body and explain it as quietly as I possibly can without ever unclenching my jaw.

Then his eyes get wide and his mouth contorts in that way that says, “Oh my gosh….I had no idea.”

And he didn’t.  No idea what an extender was.  No idea that the woman in front of us was actually purchasing them.  No idea.

Then we both stand in line, completely unable to look at each other because we are on the verge of laughter.

Once the woman left the store, I dissolved into a puddle as I tried to swipe my debit card.  I could hardly see the screen through the tears of laughter forming in my eyes.

He told the sales guy (who totally cared, by the way) that he didn’t realize that she was purchasing the extenders.  He thought they were just extra things lying at the register.

And I realized something.

When we have teenaged kids, they are so going to hate being in public with us.

But that didn’t stop me from asking my husband every five minutes, “Hey do you need any extenders?  Are you sure?  Isn’t your bra a little tight?”