5 Days

When there are only five days of school left, strange things start to happen.  Attention spans get shorter.  Tempers flare more easily.  Small irritations turn into major annoyances.  And the stupidest things start to happen. 

 

And the things that come from my mouth are outrageous.  Some of them merited and appropriate; others, horribly not so much.

 

Some are to be expected.

 

"Yes, we still have to work today."  "No, I haven't graded your essays yet."  "P, if you attempt to hit T again you will be sent to the office with a write-up."

 

Others border on strange considering I teach high school.

 

"Boy, please put down your desk covers.  They are not megaphones and I don't want to hear you mooing from them."

 

"G, she doesn't want you to touch her.  Stop touching her."

 

"K, did you really think hitting yourself in the eye with the pencil was a good idea when you started?"

 

"How DID you get your hand stuck in that?"

 

And the others, well, the others come when I haven't had enough sleep and/or caffeine.

 

"Here.  I'll fix your mouse.  Let me just blow on it.  I think my mouth has magic."

 

"No, I'm not going to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop.  I can't lick those things, I have to suck them."

 

"The Cyclops is a giant one-eyed monster."

 

"You know, J, if I had a daughter your age, I'd let her date you.  But never mind….I would have had to be ten when I had a child to have a child your age."

 

And that, my friends, is why it's a good thing this school year is coming to a close.