My Favorite Things (Today)

I've been having a mental health crisis for oh, about the last 5 weeks. Maybe give or take. It's been pretty bad news. So I'm working on it. And in the vein of less lousy mental health, I thought I'd make a list of things that I have enjoyed today.

Pledge Multi Surface--Using this oh-so-great multi surface cleaner I can clean all the surfaces in my living room during the commercial of Jon and Kate Plus 8. Makes housework a breeze.

Watching The Biggest Loser. This show is so sweetly inspirational. I just love it.

My current book. It's a bit on the dry side, but I so enjoy the process of reading.

My workout with Jillian this afternoon. I have been lazy for the past week and needed to kick it into gear. This was the ticket. I want to try the 30 day challenge and see the results. I'm down a pants size from January...and I'm ready for another :) I have dubbed summer of 2009 as the summer of fitness :)

My Covenant study. I'm finishing my last lesson. It's been such a sweet study, I'm going to miss it. But it's exciting :)
My morning cup of coffee. The best part of waking up really is Folgers in your cup...as long as its got some Creme Brulee Coffee-Mate with it :) Okay...a lot of Creme Brulee Coffee-Mate

Yo-Plus Blackberry Pomegranate yogurt. I love this stuff.

Kashi Dark Chocolate Coconut Granola Bar--So yum. I really love the nice little layer of dark chocolate at the top :)

Also.....making plans for redoing the living room (after the backyard and kitchen, of course...but hopefully sometime in 2009) and my husband LOVING my ideas.

And, of course, Smooch McGee. He's my total favorite.

That's Mr. Cook, if you didn't know. It's one of his many names.

I'm on the laptop in the living room, and don't seem to have any pictures of him. Weird.

I like my little list. I may do this again soon :) Maybe at the end of the school year/start of summer.

A wise investment

Cost of Louisville Courier-Journal Home Delivery for Friday, Saturday, Sunday—13.00/month

Savings in coupons the very first week of delivery—9.80

I think it will more than pay for itself :)

Wearing Out

*****I started this on Thursday, but didn’t finish.  I’m posting it today.*****

 

Today I had another teacher watch my last class for five minutes while I used the restroom.  When I got back, she asked me how I handled that class every day.

I admitted to her that I cry every day on the way home from school because of that class.

It’s not that they’re bad (they are, but they aren’t wretched), it’s just that it’s always something.  They were actually really good for most of today.  Then it exploded in the last minutes.  They are just so hateful to one another, and it breaks my heart.  I find myself so heartbroken over their anger, their meanness, and the awful ways that they speak to one another.

I had a phone call today that broke my heart.  It’s beyond words how terrible, terrible, terrible it was.  I still can’t believe it happened.  I thought I was going to throw up while I was on the phone.

These past weeks have just been so filled with heartache.  Those kids affect me, and they affect me deeply.

I need to learn how to separate myself from it.  But I just can’t.  Some nights I lie in bed and my heart just aches for them.  And do you know why?

Because they don’t know love.

They don’t know love.  Not the way that I know it.  I have the love of my husband, of my parents, my grandparents, my dear friends and family, and the love of a Savior.

Some of my students don’t know any of that.

Their relationships are based on physical desire, not love and compassion.

Some of them don’t have any sort of relationship with their parents or their family.

And most of them will find themselves betrayed by a “friend” more than once.

I know that if I lost everything in my life today, I would still have the Lord.  And that’s enough.

They don’t have that.

They don’t have anything.

And it breaks my heart.

So often, I find myself needing to cling to Romans 8. It gives me great comfort to know that nothing can separate me from the love of God.  That there is no condemnation for those in Christ.  So many days, I condemn myself.  I focus on my flaws, on my sins, and I can’t move past it.  It paralyzes me and  I feel so painfully inadequate.  But I know the truth—I know that Christ has died for my sins.  I know that I am accepted.  I know that God loves me and wants to work in me to make me more like him. 

They don’t.

And while I would like to tell you that I pray for them to know this every day, that would be a lie.  Sometimes I pray.  But often I focus on myself.  And the way their actions make me feel or act.  I don’t pray nearly often enough for them.

And I need to.  Because they need it.  And I could be the only one praying for some of them.

So now, as I am wearing out, as I am on the verge of tears 22 out of 24 hours each day, I realize that my focus needs to change.  I need to think less of me and more of what the Lord wants me to do for each of them.

To love them.

To pray for them.

To discipline them in love.

To be gracious, but firm.

And to be someone in their lives who genuinely cares about them.

Garden on the brain

I have a fabulous mother.  And a fabulous mother-in-law.

One has a great garden where she gets her own vegetables every summer (this is shared jointly with my fabulous father).  The other has an incredible landscaping job in her gardens and is a whiz at keeping things looking fabulous.

They seem to have both rubbed off on me.

I have gardens on the brain.

Flower beds and vegetables.

Andy and I have been doing some serious work in our flower beds, trying to get them in tip-top shape.  One huge section of our flower bed is full shade, and the rest is full sun, so it’s an interesting mix.  In the full shade we have a lot of hosta, a few shrubbery type things, some creeping phlox and some other bits and pieces that the previous owners planted.  Today I added two types of coral bells and I’ll soon have a few more hydrangea. 

  

 

In the full sun, we have a lot of day lilies, some more shrubbery and some various plants I picked up at Lowes last year whose names are currently escaping me.  I know there was some serious ground cover and some ornamental grass.  Basically, I grabbed what I thought what pretty.  Today I ordered some different lilies and some hen and chicks to add to that mix.  I’m so anxious for everything to fill out.  Right now, it all looks a little sparse….but I know that in three or four years it will be beautiful.  I may not be here to enjoy it, but it’ll look lovely

. 

Andy’s mom is going to give us some full shade bits and pieces to use as groundcover, and we are going to work on covering an area in our backyard that has previously housed a rusted out shed for 10+ years.  We’re hoping to eventually turn that into a deck area, once our backyard is peaceful and pretty (it’s far from that right now….we just planted some grass seed and have been working on that too).

Andy also tilled up my garden area.  Tomorrow I am hoping to get everything planted.  Here’s what we are attempting this year:

                        

These aren’t really vegetables, but I’m planting them too…because I want fresh flowers around the house all summer long:

  

And, last but not least my herb garden.  This year we’re going with: basil, rosemary, dill, chives, mint, oregano (and maybe thyme…we’ll see)

        

 

And I am so stinking excited!

You know it’s going to be a long day….

when you dread leaving the house in the morning, because you know it will be at least 16 more hours until you return….

when you aren’t going to arrive home until an hour after your bedtime…..

and you’re already exhausted and it’s only Tuesday…..

and you have post all of your grades pronto…..

but you don’t have any time after school, because you have a competition…..

and you are praying for Friday to come quickly….

The Day the Calendar Smacked Me in the Face

On Tuesday, I will officially have six weeks of school left.  On yesterday, I realized that I will only be home for three of the next eleven weekends.  I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with all of that.  And since everything in the world makes me freak out right now, I thought I’d make myself a small list for today, and focus on that (Andy will be doing yardwork through all of this….we split duties indoors/outdoors on busy weekends).  Most of these things are on my usual Saturday list…but we were gone on Saturday, so they got pushed back to Sunday.

-Go to SS, teach

-Nursery duty during church

-Drop off stuff for pregnancy center

-Get Sunday paper

-Make grocery list, clip coupons

-Meal plan for the week

-Grocery shop

-Clean kitchen (floor too)

-Pick up and dust living room

-Clean and mop bathroom

-Laundry (last night, when we got home from Indy and WL, I walked in our bedroom and shouted, “OH MY GOSH, Someone broke into our house and wore all our clothes and made a huge pile of laundry”  Andy only laughed a little.  I thought I was hysterical)

-Grade papers, get gradebook caught up so I can post right away Tuesday or Wednesday

-Go to Lowes, buy trimmer, bricks, grass seed, and a few more creeping phlox and whatever catches my eye

-Exercise with my buddy Jillian

-Watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 special at 9

Toilet Paper Trauma

We ran out of toilet paper.  And are currently

All the way out. 

I have never let such a thing happened.

I am so ashamed.

And hopeful that since it happened while my husband was home for lunch he will pick some up on the way home from work.

Knight in Shining Armor

I love my husband.  Dearly.  He never ceases to bring the funny.  And this is no different.

A few hours ago (literally in the middle of the night), I was sleeping quite soundly.  Out, if you will.  Then, out of nowhere, I feel Andy rolling across the bed, grabbing on to me and pulling me further onto the bed while shouting, “Baby, your lab, your labtop is going to fall.”

He was dreaming.  And he thought I was going to fall off the bed.  So he saved me.  And called me my laptop.  Because he had saved it from falling off the sofa earlier in the evening. 

Interestingly enough, I was about to fall over the edge of the bed.  So he really did save me :)

Marshmallow-y Goodness

Remember earlier in the week when I talked about my sadness over the loss of this good friend?

Because, well, he tasted like chemicals.  And was awful.  The time for sadness is no more.  I have found a replacement Easter candy.  Russell Stover’s chocolate marshmallow egg.  It beats the Reese’s egg hands down, and it’s chock full of marshmallowy goodness.  They might be one of the greatest candies ever.  And I want one right now.

A looooong day

Today was a bad day. Not bad in like the world is coming to end bad. Just bad in the "I cried on my drive home and polished off two Reese's eggs and a bowl of fat-free Cool Whip with lite cherry pie filling when I got home because I am so frustrated and agitated and exhausted" bad way. We're talking some full on ugly crying into my bowl of Cool Whip.

It was a rough afternoon.

Thankfully, it's over. And I feel blessed by the Lord, because Legally Blonde is on Comedy Central right now. And if anything can pull me out of a funk, it's Legally Blonde. And I have Bible Study tonight...which totally blesses my soul. And then Andy and I are watching "Yes Man."

I have a ridiculous amount of schoolwork to do, but I just can't do it tonight. I need that little break. Truly, my head is spinning. I'll work hard tomorrow....and I'm taking a personal day on Friday, so I can get caught up some more this weekend. We have no real plans, but I'm hoping to head to C-ville, a nearby town, for lunch and Target and Old Navy.

Bits and Pieces on a Monday Night

I made it to Wal-Mart.  I got my trash bags and my candy.  And I made a discovery.  Those chocolate marshmallow bunnies that I LOVED when I was little?  They shrunk.  They taste like chemicals.  And really aren’t good at all.  Of course, that didn’t stop me from polishing off two in the parking lot before I headed home.

I got the stuff to make this: RASPBERRY GELATO.  And I’m majorly excited.  I love raspberries and gelato.  I’m excited to have the two together.  And I have loved every recipe I’ve tried off this blog.  She even has a sweet little guide for brides on how to stock your kitchen and pantry.  I particularly enjoy her pantry list.

Tonight we did something unheard of in the Cook house—we went to a movie on a weeknight.  I exercised, came home, fixed lettuce wraps, showered and we hit the theater to see the movie “Knowing.”  It was recommended to us by an unnamed source.  I’m protecting this person’s innocence, because I am not passing on the recommendation.  If you’re excited to see it, then by all means go.  If you’re on the fence…hop off it.  We both really liked the first half of the movie…..but then it just fell apart and got irritating to watch.  Not even my popcorn could save it.  I HAD to have it when we got there…..but then it just tasted like fake butter and no salt.  Of course, that didn’t stop me from polishing off the bag.  Are you sensing a trend in my eating habits?

So….I have approximately 88 essays to grade.  But I think I’m going to bed instead.  Essays, shmessays.  They can wait.

The stockpile list

Every few weeks/months/etc., I make a stockpile list.  I attempt to run to Wal-Mart and stockpile the things we need that I have not been able to get with coupons and on sale at Kroger (who I am currently mad at, but we won’t go into it).  I try to get enough of whatever it is to last me awhile, in hopes that I don’t have to go back to Wal-Mart.  I keep a large supply of laundry detergent and softener, toothpaste, cleaning supplies, etc.  Andy took a look at my list last night, and called me into the kitchen to laugh at me.

It went like this (I would take a  picture…but there are some things on the list that just shouldn’t be posted on the internet)

3 bottles JOY

2 boxes trash bags

Toilet cleaner

Dish sponges

Pledge Multi-Surface

Swiffer dusters

Shampoo/conditioner (5 Suave, 2 Pantene—match with coupons)

LOTS OF EASTER CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The item in question was obviously the Swiffer dusters.  Oh, I kid.  He made fun of me for putting Easter candy in all caps with exclamation points.  However, if he was able to be inside my brain last night, he would have understood the need for such an exclamatory phrase.  I’m going to need that candy to survive this week. 

You know you’ve married a good man when…

--He forwards you your car insurance bill email and writes a long, sweet note about how thankful he is that you’re his wife and how much he appreciates the things you do around the house and taking care of the finances

--You call him during lunch and tell him how ridiculously terrible your day has been, and he volunteers to take you out for Chinese, order pot stickers and wonton soup, and split your two favorite meals with you, so you don’t have to decide between the two.

And that’s why I’m a big fan of this guy :)