Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Grinch/Scrooge (AKA My husband) and his gift giving funniness

Andy is a self-proclaimed Christmas hater.  He is basically the opposite of me.  He hates Christmas.  Hates buying presents.  Hates getting presents.  Hates singing Christmas carols.  Won’t look at a cookie or a treat.  Mocks the beautiful “It’s a Wonderful Life” and refuses to watch “Elf” more than once a season.  All of it.  He’s a big ol’ stick in the mud.  And I do believe he’s a bit proud of it which aggravates me to no end.  You had better believe if he acts like this when we have kids I am shipping him away for the month of December.

We had a bit of a fiasco last Valentine’s Day that has turned out to be my FAVORITE story to share with people.  I can tell a dramatic story.  Boy can I.  I am the queen of exaggeration….and when I get a story down right, it’s darn entertaining. This particular story is a real hit when we have guests over for dinner.  I whip out my five pound weights and the Walk Away Your Hips and Thighs tapes as visual aids.  It’s tres klassy, people.  With all that said, I think Mr. Scrooge is hoping for Christmas 2009 to redeem Valentine’s 2009. 

But he’s not very good at it.

First, on Tuesday night he yelled at me to leave his office and not come near.  Then he shouted for me to come back so I could give him my Amazon account username and password.  Then sent me off again.  Then called me back for my email address password.  So I had an idea at that point.  (Funny sidenote—he didn’t pay attention to my Amazon shopping cart and ended up buying two of his own Christmas presents as well).

Then today, I come home, and there it is.  My Christmas present.  Sitting on the middle of the table.  In it’s box and all.  He just opened the package and sat it on the table and left it.  No surprise.  No waiting until Christmas.  No shaking the box to figure out what’s inside. 

Christmas presents are all about the anticipation.  All about shaking the box and waiting until Christmas Day.  And now that’s ruined.

Because I can clearly read the box that says, “ kindle” and figure out what is inside.

*Deep sigh.*  I guess I should just be glad it’s not an 8 lb. set of hand weights.


Anonymous said...


I don't know if it will help, but there are presents under the Christmas Tree at home that are screaming your name. They miss our late night adventures out to the living room for shaking and snooping. I know we will probably exchange gifts soon after you get home, but there should be time for shaking so you can guess before you open it.

I love you and I hope you have a great Christmas.


Anonymous said...

Yes, there are gifts under the tree to be shaken. I guess dad and I can always leave and let you unwrap and rewrap them before you actually open them like the past.
Hint- They weigh more than a feather and less than an elephant. Any ideas yet???? I also have something very SPECIAL for the old scrooge at your house!

Ashley said...

LK--Just poke a few holes in the sides for me and try to cover them back up :) That should suffice.

Anonymous said...

Do you want me to let you know what my guess is on each gift?

Anonymous said...

Your Grandpa has played scrooge for years but wouldn,t miss out on Christmas on a bet. It's just a man thing!

Ashley said...

LK--you bet I do :)

Grandma--Dad was never a Scrooge. He was always excited about Christmas. He must have set a tough act to follow :)