Touring local law enforcement agencies

Today, I had some things I had to take care of downtown. To me, going downtown always seems like such a big deal, but it's really not. I mean, you just have to risk your life going down ridiculously steep and curvy hills, pretend to be a racecar driver, avoid hitting wayward pedestrians, narrowly miss hitting the semi parked in the street, find a parking spot, and make it to your destination in one piece. Nothing much, really.

Honestly, though, I don't love it. Downtown is really even a somewhat tolerable part of town, but I hate driving there. So I usually park somewhere that's about eight to ten blocks from where I'm going, and then just walk. Today I had to go to the library, the police department, and the sheriff's department. Why two law enforcement agencies? Oh you know....the usual....my lawbreaking habits and all. Or maybe I have to have a local criminal history in order to be employed. You can decide.

Anyway....first was the police department. It's seriously back in this shady little alley and if it weren't the police department I would feel so unsafe walking back there. But I like to think that criminals won't attack in front of the police department. As I was walking up there, I was thinking, "I'm so glad I don't have to come back here." So yeah...about an hour after I got home, the bank called to tell me I need to go to the police department to file a report on my stolen money last month. Fabulous. I guess I'll be back tomorrow.

After I hit the police station, I headed down to the sheriff's dept. It's a few blocks on down. And it smells. Like stale sweat and yuck. Seriously, I thought I was going to gag. But I survived. And I don't have to go there tomorrow. At least, I don't think I do.

Live Wire

Today while Andy was home for lunch, we heard a really strange noise. At first, we couldn't figure out what it was, but that smarty husband of mine figured it out pretty quickly. He walked outside onto our dilapidated patio into our dilapidated backyard, took one look into the neighbor's yard and walked right back inside. Here's what happened next:

"Ashley, do not go into the backyard today. Do not step on any part of our yard until I tell you too."

"Andy, what's going on?"

"The power line in the neighbor's yard is down, all of our lines are down and they are touching the metal barn in our yard"

"What does that mean?"

"It means there is a live wire in our backyard and if you touch anything back there you could get electrocuted and die."

And have a happy Thursday to you too.

But seriously, it's okay now. The power company came out and gave us a temporary fix....they can't completely fix it because we have had 7.3 million inches of water in the past two days and the ground has turned into a marsh. We lost power for a few hours, but that was all. It could have been so much worse.

On the bright side, though, I think that gives me more of a case in the battle to get rid of the ugly rusted metal barn. We could have died because of that thing! It's got to go!

You can't even imagine

Last night we were at our friends Andy and Mandy's house for a youth event. After everyone else had left, Andy started to talk about fly swatters and how he had heard that there was an electric one. My darling Andy (now referred to as Darling A for this story, so it's not too confusing) responds, "Oh yeah, they do. I have one in my car."

You have one in your car?

For how long?

From where?

Why didn't I, your loving wife, know that you possessed such a thing?

And can I use it?

Turns out, I didn't. But the boys did. For like a half-hour. Just chasing bugs arounds, making them spark, sizzle, and stink.

Not quite what we had in mind....

Later this week I will post a lovely photo essay entitled, "What to do with year old wedding cake." But not right now.

Right now, I'll share with you how our anniversary was supposed to go. And then how it really went.

How it was supposed to go:

Lunch at Cheesecake Factory.

Shopping at two malls in Louisville.

Watching Prince Caspian.

Dinner at a really kitschy restaurant in the arts district of Louisville.

Come home, enjoy evening together, eat cake.

How it went:
Lunch at Cheesecake Factory, but no dessert...because we were too full.

Shopping at just a few stores in one mall because....

The first dress I tried on at Forever 21 made me look 5 mos. pregnant and made me really sad.

Then my card was declined at Ann Taylor LOFT.

And again at Williams-Sonoma.

But Andy's worked at both....and they are attached to the same checking account. The checking account I meticulously balance and know the state of daily.

I start to get frustrated. My attitude was beyond lovely. And I want to leave. So we do. We go home to go to the bank and figure out what is going on.

At the bank, as the super sweet girl behind the counter is telling me what has happened, someone from the bank headquarters is calling Andy to share with him the same thing.

My card has been restricted. Because of unusual activity. Unusual activity that I didn't put on it. Someone got ahold of my card number and made some purchases on it....there were three or four that the bank had noted before they froze the card, but things haven't posted to the account yet, so we don't know to what extent. Of course, this means that I am without my card for a few weeks, until a new one arrives. And we have to fill out a police report to try to get back the money that has been stolen. And essentially, this is going to be a long week.