Sunday, March 3, 2013

Lessons from Ollie-bird


Picture is from last June, but shows why Ollie has to go away during meals…he’s too into Liam’s food.  Also…can you believe how little Liam looks?

Every time we feed Liam, we have to remove Ollie from the situation.  For months, I have been pulling a small morsel off of Liam’s plate, walking it down the hallway, and tossing it into the computer room of my in-law’s house so that Ollie will chase after it to eat it, and then I close the door and lock him up so Liam can eat.

Tonight, I was struck by it.  It started with me laughing a little.  Every single day, multiple times a day, I can trick Ollie into getting locked up for just a crumb of food.  It first it was funny to me.  He could have access to Liam’s whole plate if he just resisted the morsel he was given.  But he cannot. (Also….obviously he wouldn’t really get Liam’s food…he’d be more likely to get in trouble).  That one moment of temptation costs him the opportunity for so much more.

And it hit me.  I am Ollie.  I can be easily led astray by a morsel.  I see a small bite, and wander off course to chase it.  I miss the reward God has, I miss the bigger picture, because I am too stuck on the small bite.  For months, I have been allowing myself to be stuck on a small bite….to wonder why things are the way they are, but I have been missing the reward, the big picture.  I know I do this often.  I know it down deep. 

But in this instance, I see that the small bite is our house….I focus on the part where it hasn’t sold, where we don’t have our own home, where we have no personal space, and nothing is the way I want it to be.  And I miss the reward.  I don’t relish the fact that my mother-in-law can watch Liam so I can go to the bathroom for 45 seconds of alone time.  I don’t enjoy watching my son play with and love his grandparents who missed so much of his first year of life.  I don’t recognize what a reward this has been.  I have reached a place where I realize that while I still desperately want a new house and my own bed, I do know that I will miss being here when we eventually move out.  We have been so blessed, and I don’t want to take that for granted.  I don’t want to focus on my one small bite and miss the whole picture.  So tonight, I want to focus on the whole picture, and thank the Lord for what He has blessed us with.

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