I may have to quit watching Up All Night

I have a problem.  I covet the toys that baby Amy on Up All Night has.  Well...I covet a lot of things on that show.  Pretty much their living room, kitchen, and bedroom.  Like I keep meaning to pause Hulu and take a picture of the rooms so I can identify what I love in each room.  But I love a lot of their baby stuff too.

Last week it was the high chair.  I discovered it's OXO's Sprout model.  And I want it.  Because we are having major high chair issues.  We went with just a booster seat for Liam, which was all well and good when he was a sweet little thing, but now I'm pretty sure he's going to tip over a chair in it.  And then we have been using Andy's old highchair from when he was a baby while we've been staying here, but it has no seatbelt, so Liam wants to hop up and jump around and leap out of it because apparently he's an acrobat.  The OXO chair actually has a five-point harness, so his little toosh wouldn't be going anywhere.  And when he's older and more trustworthy, it can just be a regular booster at the table with no tray.

Of course, it's stupid expensive.  But I'm trying to justify it in my mind...mostly that we haven't really bought much gear for Liam.  We basically only bought his crib and then we've bought some toys/books/clothes, but we were gifted a lot of stuff or paid for it with gift cards.  Most of his toys are from his birthday/Christmas.  I buy a few basics for each season, but my mom ends up filling out his wardrobe, and Andy's mom has been buying more since we've been here.  So we really only have big expenses in food/diapers, and food is way cheaper since he weaned from formula.  And they have the chair in stock at the Buy Buy Baby that's under two miles away.  And if I sign Andy up for their emails, I can get a printable 20 percent off coupon.  So that's how I'm trying to justify the crazy expensive high chair...it would be nice to have for any future children, and I can always send it on to my sister.  And it might just end up being a "we have a new house" splurge for Liam when we move...or I'll buy it and tell Andy not to get me anything for Christmas :)

This week I was coveting the IKEA toys on the show.  I knew that I always liked this little walker cart.  I had kind of thought it would be something he would only like for a while, so I didn't get it before.  But I realize now that he loves pushing things around, and putting stuff in baskets/boxes, and would probably actually enjoy that toy for a lot longer.

Then I saw something I had never seen before, and I nearly squealed with how much I love it.  This wooden play slide.  Liam loves the slide in the church nursery, but it's plastic and ugly and I'm pretty sure he can knock it over easy (I think the common theme running through this is that my son is a wildebeest).  Then I started looking through their other toys, and remembered how much I loved them all.  And things quickly devolved from there.  Because now I want a new house, and things to stabilize and our savings account to get healthy again (it's actually okay right now....but it won't be when we have to make a down payment on future house 2 if we ever get to that point) so I can buy Liam toys.  Yup.  That's pretty much it.  I opened a floodgate, and now I need to get it in control :) Of course, I haven't actually bought anything, so maybe it's in control-ish?

Liam's new tricks and favorite things

I cannot begin to tell you how much Liam has grown up in the past few months.  He's like a real little boy now.  I cannot get enough of him...he is just too much.  We are so blessed to be his parents.  He is smart as a whip, and beyond stubborn.  There isn't a blessed thing about our boy that is easy....but it keeps us on our toes.

Every step of his developmental process I have been absolutely certain that he can do something well before he does it.  I knew he could sit up, stand, and walk way before he ever did it (because I tested him...and the things he was doing instead were way more difficult than what he should have been doing...like throwing a ball with perfect balance while standing before he was ever walking).  We're in the same place now with talking....a few examples:

Last week, he walked over to his 100 First Words book and pointed at a picture of a sippy cup until I went and got him a sippy cup.  Getting him to say words is like pulling teeth...but then he pops off with something, and never repeats it again.  But he knows what is happening....when the fan blows his hair, and you ask him if it's blowing his hair, he touches his hair.  If you ask him to honk your nose, he does it...but he won't touch his own nose if you ask.  He said the word clap while clapping all of one time because I was praising a sweet friend of his for doing it.  He tried to baa like a goat once, but won't do it again.  He just does exactly what he wants when he wants, nothing more, nothing less.  I cannot even begin to imagine where his stubbornness comes from :)

As for his favorites right now, it's been interesting to see him develop a little personality of his own...and have likes and dislikes.

Food: He likes most food...but he has some dislikes.  He won't eat anything that isn't close to it's natural state or anything that is too mushy.  Examples: he won't eat peanut butter, hummus, applesauce or mashed potatoes.  He never ate baby food.  He won't eat fruit that is canned or jarred, only fresh.  I have been letting him use a fork and spoon, and he is eating better since then.  He doesn't care for the spoon...but he loves his fork.  If he can't get food stabbed on his fork, he'll pick it up, put it on his fork and then eat it off of his fork.  He tried to fork a Goldfish cracker yesterday. 

Books: He still loves board books and shred-the-flap books (oh, that's not what they're called?  that's what they are here :)), but he's starting to like longer books now too.  He LOVES Knuffle Bunny and Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems.  I'm excited to get his Elephant and Piggie books out of storage.  He also likes Kitten's First Full Moon and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.  Those are the only longer books we have that aren't in storage right now....so I'm sure he'd like more if we had them here.  He also has a little board book that has cutouts in it called "Peek-a-Who" that he likes to sit down and leaf through for a long time.  And the board book "Llama Llama Nighty-Night"

Toys:  I should do this in parts.  He loves blocks (Megabloks and Duplos...probably regular blocks too, but we don't have any).  He will sit and pull apart and put together his Megabloks for a really long time.  He likes his Duplos a lot, but they are harder to manipulate  right now, so he doesn't use them for quite as long.

Stuffed animals and blankets.  Liam is a lovey kind of boy.  He has preferences for his blankets--the three that my mom made him with bright fabrics on one side, and minky fabric on the other...and satiny binding.  He carries them with him everywhere, he hides under them, he likes to cover his head with them and walk around (I think he thinks he's invisible.  He also loves stuffed animals.  He doesn't seem to have any preferences with those...he just wants to bite them in the nose and squeeze them tight.

Climbing/riding/pushing toys: Here he has a riding duck and he loves to ride it.  He likes climbing furniture, pushing things around, and scooting/rearranging things.

He is also really into kitchen containers.  He likes to stir spoons in cups, and he really wants to help stir pots and pans on the stove...but he can't.  I think I might get him some little pans/stirrers from IKEA for Christmas...but only if we have our own house by then.  The IKEA ones are metal, and Liam isn't allowed to throw or drop things that can scratch the hardwood floors here....so those wouldn't be a good choice.

He likes balls a lot too.  We don't currently have any (the no throwing thing plus the Ollie bit the last one and busted it), but he spent the entire weekend at my mom and dad's throwing, rolling, and chasing balls.  He loves anything outside.  That boy wants to be outside all the time.

Musical instruments: He likes anything that plays noise.  He has a dog guitar he got for his birthday that he wears around.  There is a cat piano that goes with it from Target that I had to pry from his hands in the toy aisle.  It was cute....it took self-control on my part not to buy it for him he wanted it so much.

TV: I hate to admit it, but I let him watch two tv shows a day.  I know it's bad...but I know that I have limits too...and not living in our own house is difficult.  There is a lot of stuff I have to keep him out of, and sometimes, we both need a break.  We watch an episode of Sesame Street in the morning when we wake up (because neither one of us is a morning person...so it gives both of us a chance to wake up slowly.  He usually only pays attention to the first 20 minutes or so (the street part with the people) and then to any songs.  I leave it on, but he is usually off and playing about halfway through.  And then sometime in the afternoon (usually in the "witching hour"...post nap, pre-dinner....mucho cranky) we will watch an episode of Chuggington.  I actually bought a season of Chuggington on Amazon on Demand...Liam liked the videos that were on Andy's parents' cable on demand...and Andy likes it too...so I went for it because I had watched the five on demand episodes 5 or so times each.

Refining

The past two and half months have been an incredibly refining time.  There is nothing like moving in with someone to teach you a lot about yourself...it happened in college, it happened when Andy and I got married, and it's happened since we've been living here.  I have relearned something I already knew--but to a much larger extent.  I need wide margins.  I need time to be.  To be alone.  To be away from people.  To be free to do my own thing for some amount of time.  This is something I have struggled with off and on since Liam was born, and it's been a real struggle recently.  Right now, I am home alone.  And it's blissful.  I am planning out my last minutes of alone time: I am going to finish this, then I am going to eat a banana with peanut butter and chocolate syrup for dinner, then I am going to go find something to watch on tv.  All of these are things I could do with others around (maybe not the banana for dinner thing...Andy and Liam don't groove on that the way I do), but because I can do it alone, it's instantly more satisfying.  I need time to think, to create, to plan, to process, and to do.  In all seriousness, Andy makes fun of how often I look for new houses, but it's something I need to do.  I choose a house, I fixate on it, and when it sells I feel sad for about four hours, then I convince myself of a few reasons why that wasn't the house for us, and find a new one that I think is way better for X number of reasons.  Although, admittedly, my current crush may take me more than a few hours to get over if it doesn't sell.  It's a custom home with a serious midcentury modern vibe, crazy hardwoods, and a walkway and a loft...and the loft has knotty pine tongue and groove ceilings.  It needs some serious paint/wallpaper removal...but it's a real charmer and and I do some seriously awesome things to it.  And it's yard is amazeballs...and .38 acres with a lake down the way.  And a park in the neighborhood...and it's off the main drag in the northside suburb I want to live it.  And it's closer to our church than Andy's parents' house (like 20 mins instead of 30).  So yeah.  I have learned that I need alone time, and it makes me batty not to get it.  And I need to have hope that the future will be different...that some day we will be in our own place again.

Quick Update

We are in Indy now.  Have been for almost two months.  We are still waiting on our house to sell, and we're still staying with Andy's parents.  We're sort of in a holding pattern right now.  One that I would like to end.  When Andy and I went to the Dominican Republic in 2009, we got stuck in a plane outside Miami.  We were so close, but we couldn't land.  We were in the plane, circling between Miami and Cuba for hours until a storm cleared and our flight was able to get some runway space.  Then we were stuck on the runway until we could get inside.  A layover that should have been 5 hours in Miami ended up being a mad dash through customs and security and a race to make our flight.  I remember snapping at a man who tried to cut in front of me in security and drawing the attention of several people around us.  I was aggravated, tired, and ready to be home.  That's what the past two months have been like.  Only we don't have a home to get to.  Not yet at least.  We're in a holding pattern.  And I am physically and mentally worn out over it.  I have pain down into my joints...literally, they are aching.  I don't know why....but this is a lot harder than it should be.  Andy's parents are so great, and we have been so blessed to be able to stay with them, but we're ready for our own place.  Our bed.  The chance to unpack Liam's toys and books...my clothes...to eat dinner on our own dishes.  For Ollie to snuggle on his own couch and for Andy to use up crazy amounts of our own water.

Really, we're fine.  We're doing well.  We would just love to have someone want to buy our house...so we can do the same for someone else :)

I’m feeling less complain-y

Our plumbing is finished!  Woo to the hoo!  We have a new water line and a new sewage line…and I swear to you that our water tastes better than it ever has before.  And of course, we are leaving this weekend.  We just have two-ish things to do tomorrow, and Andy’s parents are coming for a last run-through…and the we are going to move out on Sunday morning.  I’m excited/scared/nervous/sad.  All at once. 

So I’ve been reading a lot this week to avoid my real emotions.  I checked out the book Maine by J. Courteney Summer on my Kindle….and it was beautiful and aching and sad and lovely all at once.  It was a good summer book…not too fluffy…I find that I don’t love fluff…I want a book to have some substance, something to sink into.  And now I’m also reading Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese.  I have a subscription to Entertainment Weekly (thank you Amazon for a 15 dollar subscription that makes me happy every Friday…it’s 25 now..but I got it for 15 around Christmas) and I went through and added every book that they recommended that looked interesting to me to my Amazon Wish List last week.  Then I went through the Overdrive site and added all of them that were available to my Wish List/Holds to check out on my Kindle.  I am on the wait list for three other books right now….and if we end up in the neighborhood we are looking at, I think we’ll have access to a library that uses the Overdrive ebook system…so that’s even more exciting….because it would be sad to lose that ability after having it this year.  My next books are Death Comes to Pemberley, The Tiger’s Wife, and Age of Miracles.  And I’ve been reading my way through the Jane Austen canon…so far this summer I have read Emma, Persuasion, and Northanger Abbey (and Pride and Prejudice…but I’ve read it once a year since high school).  And I have come to a conclusion….if Liam ever has a sibling, and that sibling is a girl, I’d like to name her Anne Elliot Cook….because I am completely smitten with Anne Elliot from Persuasion.  And also, I would like to start collecting the Penguin Classics hardcover additions of some of my favorite classics because they are absolutely stunning.  I also read The Happiness Project (L. Keller…you are so getting that book for Christmas..you’ll love it) and she talked about making modest purchases that bring you happiness…and I decided that that would definitely be a happy thing for me….having beautiful copies of books I love (kept out of the reach of my son whose favorite game is throwing things).

So there’s a whole big blob of text that explains my life avoidance strategies :)..ha!

Last days

Tomorrow is likely our last day in town.  Our plumbing issue still isn’t fixed, but I can’t talk about it without getting really angry about it.  It’s getting closer.  But still not completed…today the contracting company came out and dug a hole in our curb/yard that was 12 feet deep and about 6 feet wide.  They hooked our sewage line up at the street, but our plumber didn’t come hook his lines up…so the job that we paid for four weeks ago still isn’t complete, and we are still using the rusted water line and collapsed sewer line.  The plumber is supposed to be out in the morning to finish his part…and then the construction company will be back on Monday to reinstall a curb for the city.  We need the plumber to get the large hole in our front yard filled (seriously….it’s a 6 by 6 hole right underneath the office window that’s been blocked off with Danger tape for four weeks) so we can fix the flower bed, add a few plants, mulch it, and move.  We leave for Indy Saturday sometime.  Just about everything else is finished…I just have to pack our clothes/toiletries/etc.  And we need to take apart Liam’s crib to take with us, and leave the house show ready.  We had a showing last Monday, but we haven’t heard anything from it.  So we also need to contact our realtor and get him a key to our house because he was supposed to have put a lockbox on it this week and hasn’t.  So…basically….we are leaving with a kind of bitter taste in our mouths.  Our church hosted a lunch for our family last week that was really sweet, but there have been so many bad things and so many instances where we have been jerked around lately that I am ready to go.  I want this house sold, and I want to move on.  I will dearly miss our friends and our church, but right now, the town isn’t endearing itself to me one bit.  I keep telling Andy that the next few months are probably going to be rough…but six months from now, it will all be over with…and we just need to stick it out.  I’m just focusing on happy things—like going to the Ft. Wayne Zoo with Mariah and Shannon and Theodore and Liam…and the 4-H fair…and seeing my sister….and probably going to Target next week with Andy’s mom and Liam.

An update of sorts

These past several weeks have been a whirlwind.  We have spent our days cleaning, packing, painting, and fixing all those little odd jobs that you mean to get to when you own a house, but put off for whatever reason.  We also had a crazy expensive plumbing job that destroyed our front yard and still hasn't been finished...which is certainly not what you want to have happen as you're putting your house on the market.  But it happened.  So in the last month, we have worked our tails off, depleted our savings account to an uncomfortable level, finished everything we can in our house, put our house on the market, watered new grass like mad (because the plumbing issues that were supposed to cut a four foot swath through our yard ended up destroying 85 percent of the front yard and part of the back), had Andy's debit card shut off for fraudulent activities, had our car literally stop accelerating as we drove up a hill on our way home (that was yesterday....we think it must have been low fuel), and chased our exuberant 13 month up and down and all around.  And then the little things...cancelling appointments, last lunches with friends, good-byes, cramming in one last dog haircut and vet appt. so you have a few months to figure out that.  Crying over losing your pediatrician (for real...I love her).  Trying to not buy groceries, but also not being able to live on condiments alone.  So...we're tired.

 But it's okay.  Andy's last day at his old job was Friday (of course...he's been there since 7:30 this morning working and fixing stuff) and he doesn't start his new one until July 16.  So we have two weeks off.  Two weeks where we just have to finish the last few things on our list (paint one piece of trim, stain one door...paint the soffit and try to make sense of the yard once the new sewage and water lines are hooked up) and hope that someone wants to see our house.  Then we move to Indy.  Where we will stay with Andy's parents until our house sells and we buy a new one.  We have already narrowed down what neighborhood we want to live in based on price and location (outside the loop...on the northwest side of town), so we are ready to start checking out some houses there.  We may do that next week with some of our "off" time.  Andy and I have never had two simultaneous weeks off in the history of our marriage, so I'm excited to see that.

That's pretty much where we are right now.  Liam has been a real bright spot in the insanity because that kid is a riot.  As of this morning, he's in love with his own reflection in the oven glass....he will stand in front of the oven and try to touch his reflection...and then he starts leaning to one side, and then to the other, and laughing at himself.  And that makes this mama laugh and forget about the insanity for a brief moment :)